Fellatio
It doesn’t matter if you call it fellatio, a blowjob, a BJ, going down, or giving head - chances are it’s one of his favorite things in the world.
It’s no surprise, really. Ask any guy and he’ll tell you that hardly anything compares to the sensation of a warm, wet mouth coupled with a firm tongue. Furthermore, almost every red-blooded male tingles with arousal at the thought of his favorite appendage being worshipped in such a way.
“Fellatio is the best. Besides the physical sensations, I feel that the woman really loves and appreciates my body – the real me.”*
“This is by far my favorite sexual activity. I always orgasm and it is more intense for me than an intercourse orgasm.”*Oral Anxiety
Sadly, a surprising amount of women are unsure or nervous about performing fellatio. In fact, sex therapists and advice columnists receive far more questions about it than any other sex act. We’re not sure exactly why this is, but, regardless of the reason, the questions are being asked and we’re more than happy to answer them - in depth.
What’s in It For Me?
The fact that you’re reading this guide in the first place implies that you already have at least a few reasons for brushing up on your fellatio skills. Trust us you’ll be glad you did! Here are just a few of the sexy benefits of becoming an oral expert:
- Self-confidence – The number one reason why women are nervous giving blowjobs is “I’m not sure I know how” or “I’m not sure if I’m good at it”. Becoming proficient at fellatio will fill with you with sexual confidence and give you a greater sense of your feminine power.
- It’s Sexy! – Oral sex of any kind is a very erotic and titillating experience that (done right) can be extremely arousing for both of you. Some women even have orgasms just from giving a blow job.
- He loves it – If you’ve ever wanted to see a grown man beg, this is the way to do it.
- Improved relationship – Things have gotten a little stale in the bedroom lately? It happens to everyone. Fortunately, a little knowledge and some new skills can really liven things up and light that fire again. Nothing says “I love you” quite like a blowjob!
- He’ll return the favor – We’re certainly not suggesting that sex should be a tit-for-tat affair. However, if you go out of the way to give him mind-blowing oral orgasms he’ll be far more likely to return the favor (with a smile on his face the whole time).
Concerns
Now that you’re well-versed on the benefits, let’s take a look at some common concerns that can be obstacles to a great fellatio session:
- Insecurity – As we mentioned earlier, this is one of the most common reasons why women are uncomfortable with fellatio. Luckily for you, this guide should at least give you the confidence to get out there and practice!
- “It’s dirty” – Some women have been brainwashed by society into feeling that fellatio is just not something a “nice girl” or “lady” does. Fortunately, this mindset has progressed over the years and now most people realize that sex (in all forms) is one of life’s greatest gifts.
- Sanitary reasons – Did you know that your mouth has millions more germs than a clean penis? Well, now you do.
- Taste or Smell – If this is an issue for you, don’t be afraid to suggest a shower or a bubble bath with your partner. There are also a variety of flavored lubes and edible lotions for you to try – or head to kitchen and grab a few drops of honey or maple syrup.
“My impression is that either the women I have slept with were afraid because they didn’t know exactly what to do when they got down there, or they thought it was dirty and would only go down there as a matter of requirement but that’s all.”*
“Many partners have seemed unsure how to give good head. It is a stereotyped idea that they have to suck the whole penis and stick it down their throat. The most important thing about good head is that they enjoy doing it, and be loving, curious, and playful, regardless of what they do.”*Rev Him up
Ladies, you’re lucky.
Unlike you, a guy doesn’t need a dozen roses…followed by two hours of emotional stimulation…followed by an hour of slow, sensual massage…followed by another hour of passionate kissing…followed by another hour of foreplay in order to be turned on. (We’re joking, please don’t send us any more angry letters.)
Nonetheless, a few soft, wet kisses paired with a few naughty words in his ear will start his blood pumping and his mind racing. Get his motor really running by unzipping his pants and slowly pulling them down as you breathe and kiss around his belly button and thighs. You’ll practically be driving him crazy as he anticipates what you’re going to do next!
Positioning
Fellatio can be tiring in some cases so you’ll want to be comfortable. Try to find a position that allows you to move your neck, shoulders, and upper body easily. If you have long hair, draw it back to get it out of the way.
BlowJob Basics
Take his penis out of his pants (if it’s not already), hold it in one hand and give him a sly smile so he knows you’re about to “blow” his mind!
First Impressions Are Important
At this point, the slightest touch of your warm, wet mouth will give him the most incredible sensations.
Glide the tip of your tongue up over the head of his penis, down the underside of his shaft, and back up again. Cover your teeth with your lips (in an “O” shape”), but don’t stretch them. Keep them loose, soft, and welcoming. Now take the whole head into your mouth for one full suck. Let it pop out with a loud, sexy “slurp”.
Technique #1 Basic Fellatio
Let your first impression sink in for a moment, then take him as far into your mouth as you comfortably can. Don’t overdo it, there’s no need for gagging! The majority of the nerves are on the head of his penis anyway. Stay there for a few seconds, then slowly slide your mouth back up to the top. He’ll probably be moaning his appreciation at this point – feel free to make your own yummy sounds. Go back for seconds! Slide your wet mouth slowly up and down.
Congratulations! That’s a basic blowjob and should be more than enough to bring most guys to an earth-shattering orgasm. But we’re not done yet! Let’s add a few more techniques to really knock his socks off.
Technique #2 Tongue Twister
Put the head of his penis in your mouth, but don’t tighten your lips around the shaft. Instead, draw long, luscious circles around it with the tip of your wet tongue. This will cause the tip of his penis to slide around in the sides of your mouth. This feels absolutely divine, but may not be enough repeated sensation to allow him to orgasm. Use it as a diversion or transition in between other techniques.
Technique #3 Flick It
Start like Technique #2 above, but instead of drawing circles use your tongue to gently flick up and down on the head of his penis. Put it in your mouth, slide down, back up and repeat the flick. Just like Technique #2, this one should also be used sparingly.
Technique #3 Ice Cream Cone
Start at the bottom of the shaft (or his testicles) and lick all the way up to the underside of the head of the penis like you were eating an ice cream cone. Repeat.
Technique #4 Lend a Hand
A common (and very tragic) blunder is when a woman uses only her mouth during oral sex. Don’t make that mistake! Wrap a hand (or two) around the shaft of his penis and use it as an extension of your mouth. Slide it up and down along with your mouth, closing it slightly when you reach the head and opening it slightly as you slide back down. This is an especially handy technique if you have an easy gag reflex. It allows you to be comfortable without depriving his whole shaft of stimulation.
Lubrication is essential during this technique. Otherwise it can be irritating or downright painful for him. Don’t be afraid to salivate all over his penis during the first few techniques. If your own saliva isn’t sufficient, use some lubrication (preferably one that doesn’t taste awful).
This is often the essential technique for finishing him off.
Technique #5 Deep Throat
Depending on whom you ask, deep throating is either needless suffering that started with a cheesy 70’s porn movie or the holy grail of fellatio. We think it’s somewhere in between.
On one hand, you should never feel inadequate if you’re not able to do the technique. The reflexes in the throat are simply not designed to take a penis comfortably without gagging. Furthermore, the head of his penis is where most of the nerves that make him feel good are located anyway. On the other hand, deep throating is an extremely sexy way to impress the hell out of him. We have a hunch that it feels pretty good too.
In case you haven’t figured it out yet, “deep throating” involves taking his entire penis in your mouth and to the back of your throat. We have a few suggestions if you’re brave enough to try:
- Positioning – Reduce the urge to gag by positioning him slightly to the edge of your throat. Alternately, you can lie on your back on the bed and tilt your head backwards off the edge of the bed. Besides being somewhat titillating, this will open your throat and reduce the urge to gag.
- Lubrication – Lubrication (saliva or lube) is essential to deep throating. Don’t even attempt it without.
- Relax – Stop every inch or so and relax your throat muscles before taking him deeper.
- Breathe – You won’t be able to breathe well when he’s in deep. Take a breath on each outstroke.
- Practice – Practice makes perfect. Use soft gel dildos or even your toothbrush to slowly practice your skills.
- You’re in charge – If you’re going to deep throat, do it at your pace and let him know that up front.
Penis Pleasers
The techniques above are a perfect starting point to becoming an expert on fellatio. But we’re not done yet! Here are some blowjob boosters that will turn a great blowjob into a fantastic one.
- Use your hands – Men often complain that women are too gentle when it comes to handling his equipment. Use your hands often and don’t be afraid to grip him gently yet firmly.
- Look into his eyes – Add a sexy psychological element by looking up into his eyes while he’s in your mouth. He’ll love it!
- Naughty massage – Add a little extra something by massaging his testicles as you give him some oral loving. This might be an exception to the firm grip rule, as they are sensitive and need to be handled with care.
- Make some noise – Slurping and sucking noises will drive him wild. Don’t be afraid to say a few naughty things either.
Penis Shrinkers
Everyone has their own quirks and strange things that they enjoy. However, the majority of guys tend to agree that the following things are not much fun.
- Teeth – Be extremely careful to not scrape his favorite appendage with your teeth. For the most part, it’s hard to make a blowjob feel “bad”, but teeth and sharp fingernails are most definitely the exception.
- Zippers – Almost every guy has had a terrible experience at some point in his life that involved a zipper and his pride and joy. Understandably, he probably has a phobia about zippers down there. Please keep that in mind if you’re trying to pleasure him through his pants.
- Ice cold hands – Have you seen what happens to a penis in cold water? Icy-cold hands usually have the same effect.
- Not enough lube – A dry mouth or dry hands can feel like sandpaper on his sensitive parts. Use plenty of saliva – and then double it.
- Jewelry – Pay attention to what you’re wearing before you get started. Rings can scrape him or get trapped in his pubic hair.
Get Inside His “Head”
Now you have enough knowledge to be very dangerous indeed.
However, the key to his climax will be discovering the techniques that really work specifically for him. Read the signs and adjust your technique as necessary.
When you get it just right, he’ll breathe faster, moan loader, tense his muscles, and may even gasp the equivalent of “Right there, don’t stop!”. That’s your cue to stay on the same technique with the same rhythm and pressure. This is it! Don’t stop until he’s done.
Eruption!
So your skill and newly discovered knowledge has brought him to the brink of ecstasy and now you’re concerned about how you’re going to finish him off? Don’t worry. We’ve got tips to help you all the way to the end of his mind-blowing orgasm.
To Swallow
If you’re not the squeamish type, you may be able to give him one of the most fulfilling and pleasurable orgasms ever by swallowing his ejaculate.
“It gives me a feeling of complete acceptance when she likes to take me into her mouth and have me come. It is very disturbing to upset the emotional moment by running to the bathroom to spit it out, or into a handkerchief, even when done adeptly. It always makes me feel distant.”*
“Coming in a woman’s mouth and having her swallow it is something special.”*Do this by simply keeping him in your mouth as he orgasms. Point it toward the inside of your cheek (so it doesn’t hit the back of your throat and make you gag), and then swallow. If you change your mind at the last second, feel free to let it flow out of your mouth. Believe us, he’ll still be delighted and impressed!
Quick Tip: His ejaculate is perfectly safe to swallow. It’s actually low in calories and high in protein and vitamins.
Not to Swallow
Even if you decide not to swallow, there are still ways to end his orgasm like a pro. Finish him with your hand into a towel, or (for an extra sexy treat) onto your breasts, stomach, neck or even face.
Post Eruption
The head of his penis may be very sensitive after his orgasm. Your warm mouth will still be welcome, just be sure to be extra gentle with it.
Now’s a great time to whisper a few naughty phrases such as “Was that yummy?” or “Did you like that?” as you look up at him with a smile on your face.
Enjoy the look of blissful relaxation on his face – You’ve earned it!
* All quotes are courtesy of The Hite Report: A Nationwide Study of Male Sexuality By Shere Hite